7 Steps To Talking Finances With Your Partner

#finances #marriage #talkingfinances Feb 15, 2021
7 Steps To Talking Finances With Your Partner

Experts agree that the solution to solidify a relationship is by being honest about talking about finances with your partner. 

According to a TD Ameritrade study, 41% of divorced Gen Xers and 29% of Boomers say they ended their marriage due to disagreements about money. 

However, knowing about where you stand as a couple when it comes to money and finances and what you can accomplish together is a recipe for success in a relationship. It builds trust and a sense of togetherness.

Of course, things would be a lot easier if these conversations were made before getting married and then continued during the marriage.

Here are the reasons most couples stop talking about money:

  • Fear of being judged by their partner or in-laws
  • Fear of disagreements that will lead to divorce
  • Fear of rejection
  • Avoid increased anxiety 
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of having to be honest about secret spendings or secret accounts
  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of becoming vulnerable
  • Fera of projecting the perfect relationship on social media but having to having a reality check
  • Hoping that avoiding the topic will make things better

However, the same thing that gives you fear is the solution. Talking about it, become vulnerable, and be honest will set you free as a couple.

How can you and your partner talk about money and solidify your relationship?  It might not be an easy topic, but it is possible for couples to talk about money.

But how do you start the conversation? Today I am going to show you seven steps to talking about finances with your partner.

Step 1: Choose the right time.

The best time to choose to talk about this subject is during a happy moment. During a holiday like Christmas, Valentine's Day might be a good time to open to the topic. Also, a wedding or anniversary can be an excellent time to talk since people reminisce about their goals and future during times like this. So open that bottle of wine or champagne, and let's talk about it! 

Step 2: Start addressing a concern.

After choosing the right time, you want to open the conversation by becoming vulnerable about a concern. Perhaps something like this: "Talking about weddings, I would love for us to get together address our finances and our future goals. How about tomorrow night?". Or "Since we are celebrating (insert occasion here), a thought came to me that it might be a great time for us to check together where we are regarding our finances and future goals. How about if we review it together this Tuesday night?".

Step 3: Ask questions and be open-minded to the answers.

So as a couple, we want to ask questions. This will help you as a couple to better understand your beliefs and common goals. 

Questions like: 

What are your biggest money worries?  

What are your most vivid memories about money when you were growing up? 

What are the three most important lessons about money that your parents taught you? 

Step 4: Determine your financial wealth together.

Once you guys have become honest with each other, it is time to go over your finances. The best place to start is by calculating your income and net worth. Then calculate your assets and liabilities and create a plan to increase the investments and decrease the liabilities. This is probably one of the most challenging parts, and it requires patience and compromise. 

Step 5: Talk about your must-have.

Some dreams and goals cannot be compromised because they are must-haves. Therefore, talk about the things you are unwilling to compromise and the timeline. Narrow it down to at least three and make a plan together on how to achieve it.  

Step 6: Talk about the future and retirement.

One of the things that come as a surprise to a lot of couples is their retirement. Because they could have very different visions about how they see themselves during that time, some people want to start traveling around the world or retire in another state or country. Others want to relax and live a simple life among their family and friends. No matter what your vision is, it would help if you talked about it with your partner. Most importantly, how much money it will take to live those dreams.

Step 7: Do a reality check and plan accordingly

The numbers don't lie, and if you have not planned to hit those big, audacious goals, you need to let the numbers decide for you. That way, it will not be a matter of the other partner, but how together you can hit those numbers.

Final thoughts, don't sweat the small stuff. Leave negative emotions like blame, guilt, and shame aside, don't shadow this moment. Decide together how the money is going to be spent by setting a spending cap. Also, arrange to continue talking about this and decide on times. And above all, avoid fighting!

To learn more about how you can get your finances on track, make sure to make an appointment to chat. https://financiallyfit.as.me/letschat


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